Here are 5 things that I’ll be doing This Year to Stay Positive
Now that the new year is almost upon us, there is the traditional reflection on what was accomplished and what changes need to be made. Personally, I don’t make new years resolutions. None of them really stick, and I think the whole twelve months is far too long for changes that stick. When I want to make changes, I go for the six-week sprint. However, it’s fair to say that this time of year can bring on the blues. Afterall, not everyone is in a place where they can celebrate. Unfortunately, this time of year brings with it an increase in suicides and addiction relapsing. Here are five things I always remind my team of this time of year.
1. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude first thing in the morning
Reflecting on what you’re grateful for isn’t simply a good thing to do; it reduces the dreaded, big belly creating stress hormone, cortisol, by a whopping 23 percent. (That’s right! If you don’t stress out, you can likely eat 23% more cookies and still have the same waist line.) Research done at the University of California, Davis, found that people who worked daily to have an attitude of gratitude experienced improved energy, mood, and a lot less anxiety due to lower cortisol levels.
An attitude of gratitude happens by taking time out every day to focus on the positive. I like to start my mornings with this activity. In fact, each morning, with each of my first three sips of coffee, I reflect on something I’m grateful for. Later in the day, any time you experience negative or pessimistic thoughts, use this as a cue to shift gears and think about something positive. Eventually, a positive attitude will become a way of life.
2. Pile on the compliments
Compliments are my secret weapon for feeling better. They are really great for at least two big reasons. My goal for each day is to give a genuine compliment to someone before lunch, and another before bedtime. These two are the minimum. Any additions can be considered fiber for the soul. First, I like to find someone who looks sad or alone and pay them a compliment. People around us need love, and oftentimes, they aren’t very good at asking for it.
I sometimes wonder when people “randomly” commit suicide, how often it happens because they were very blue for a long time and nobody noticed. I also make sure to compliment people who look like they are making a concerted effort to accomplish something. Acknowledging hard work, and validating efforts can be a fantastic pick-me-up when someone is second-guessing themselves. Finally, I always take note of the way I feel after complimenting. It feels good. It makes me smile and puts a spring in my step.
3. Separate fact from fiction
A very important step in learning to focus on the positive requires knowing how to stop negative self-talk in its tracks. The more you focus on negative thoughts, the more power you give them. Most of our negative thoughts are just that -- thoughts, not facts.
When you find yourself circling down the bowl of negativity and anxiety, it’s time to stop and write them down. Literally stop what you’re doing and write down what you’re thinking! It feels ridiculous when you sit with a piece of paper, but it works! Once you’ve taken a moment to slow down the negative momentum of your thoughts, you will be more rational and clear-headed in evaluating facts versus fiction. Evaluate each statement to see if they’re real. You can bet the statements aren’t true any time you see words like never, always, worst, ever, etc.
When it feels like something always or never happens, this is just your brain’s natural threat tendency inflating the perceived frequency or severity of an event. Identifying and labeling your thoughts as thoughts by separating them from the facts will help you escape the cycle of negativity and move toward a positive new outlook.
If your statements still look like facts once they’re on paper, take them to a friend or colleague you can trust and see if he or she agrees with you. Then the truth will come out.
4. Lend helping hand
All of us can use a helping hand occasionally. It can mean helping someone with their heavy bags, making a friend dinner, or simply asking how to help. I try to always ask friends or colleagues, “How can I make your day easier? What would you like help with taking off your list?” This simple question helps with improving relationships and the activity will help with taking your mind off whatever if bothering you. In fact, you’re doing yourself a favor by helping someone else out.
5. Identify a Positive
Once you snap yourself out of self-defeating, negative thoughts, it’s time to help your brain learn what you want it to focus on -- the positive.
This will eventually come naturally after some practice, but first you must give your wandering brain a little help by consciously selecting something positive to think about. Any positive thought will do to refocus your brain’s attention. When things are going well, and your mood is good, this is relatively easy. When things are going poorly, and your mind is flooded with negative thoughts, this can be a challenge. In these moments, think about your day and identify one positive thing that happened, no matter how small. If you can’t think of something from the current day, reflect on the previous day or even the previous week. Or maybe there is an exciting event you are looking forward to that you can focus on.
Bringing It All Together
None of these tips are rocket science, but they have tremendous power because they train your brain to have a positive focus. They break old habits, if you force yourself to use them. Given the mind’s natural tendency to wander toward negative thoughts, we can all use a little help with staying positive.